


Work On It

by gayceattorney



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Confession, F/M, M/M, Mention of Angelica Schuyler, Pining, Polyamorous Alexander Hamilton, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:12:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayceattorney/pseuds/gayceattorney
Summary: John Laurens sat in his bedroom pondering whether or not to text Alexander to meet him at the bar. The previously mentioned man was so busy with his new girlfriend, Eliza, that he seemingly had no time for John anymore. John wished he were in Eliza's shoes, something he would never say aloud...until he did outside of his favorite bar, feeling his tears roll down his cheeks.





	

Alex, do you want to meet me somewhere today? 

John Laurens sent the text out to his friend Alexander. He hoped he would respond but these days he hasn’t been consistent with his responses. What did John expect, what with Alexander’s new obsessi- oh, girlfriend Eliza. John was happy for Alex, he loved Eliza and she loved him even more but...John didn’t know. There was just something that he didn’t like and it had nothing to do with Eliza. She was lovely, the girl of Alex’s dreams. Alex even thinks she’s “the one”. After four weeks, no less! They were the happiest couple John had ever seen.

Sure what did you have in mind 

John’s phone buzzed and Alex’s message flashed on the screen. Wow. Got this far.

Bar?

John responded. The bar, really? Who did John think he was, some lonely piece of sh-

Awesome. Been needing a drink 

What intrigued John about Alex’s texting habits is that Alex is the most amazing writer and wordsmith but the laziest texter John had ever seen. 

How’s 7?

John sent the reply and went about getting ready as it was 5:58pm and their regular bar, The Revolutionary, was a half an hour away from his apartment.

See u soon

John smiled. He hadn’t spent nearly enough time with his best friend since Eliza said yes to Alexander’s persistence. And John was sure she didn’t regret saying yes. After all, who would?

John changed his clothes and fidgeted with things in his apartment while he waited for a reasonable time to leave. 6:12pm...good enough. John jumped into his car and drove down the highway to The Revolutionary. He drove up at 6:44pm and, not to his shock, didn’t see Alex. Alexander is always impeccably on time, on the dot, so John would wait inside for the fifteen minutes being extremely awkward and getting questioning stares from the people who thought he was barely an adult. John sighed at the thought.

John took a seat in their usual booth, in the corner away from the ruckus of the drunken scholars and men who wanted to change the world. Usually John and Alexander would be with them, singing and yelling about their plans but he didn’t feel...enthusiastic enough tonight. 

“Why the long face, Little Laurens?” Lafayette swept into the booth beside John, setting a beer in front of him. 

“Please don’t call me that, Laf...” John spoke, sounding sadder than he intended while he reached for the bottle and drank nearly a third in one go. 

“Oh no...what is going on? Tell me John, we French give great advice, you know?” Laf nudged him in the shoulder. John sighed, took another gulp of the drink his so desperately needed.

“I don’t know what wrong with me Lafayette. Alexander...he is so happy with Eliza, and she really does make him a better person since they actually became a couple. Why don’t I feel happy for him?” John groaned in frustration as Lafayette hummed in thought. 

“Have you thought about...your relationship with Hamilton, John?” Lafayette asked as he moved to the other side of the table so he could clearly read John’s face. 

“We’re best friends. He’s always been there for me, since I was 18, I...”

“But how do you feel about him, Laurens?” Lafayette prodded, staring intently into John’s eyes, John refused to meet his gaze.

“I...I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, yes, you do John. While I love telling people what I know, I refuse to tell you the obvious here,” Lafayette said, as he finished his drink and pointed to Hamilton crossing the bar, stopping to laugh with Hercules, “Now, I wish you luck. If you don’t say it out loud, it will eat you alive Little Laurens.”

Lafayette bid him goodbye by blowing him a kiss and went to greet Alex, giving John some time to gather himself.

“Lafayette! How are you?!” John heard Alexander yell over the din of the bar. Alexander had a knack for being loud. John took a deep, shuddering breath. He knew exactly what Lafayette meant and he hated that he knew it.

Alexander sat himself in front of him and grabbed John’s beer, drinking the rest of it before calling the waitress for two more.

“Thanks for the invite John, Eliza has been killing me,” he said, running a hand through his long hair. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” John asked. Alex had never spoken relatively ill about he and Eliza before.

“She just...okay so her sister, Angelica, is great. She really is, I mean, she introduced me to Eliza. And now they’re both acting like they’re in love with me, which I understand because, look at me John,” Alex said, winking in John’s direction, “But Eliza is getting all pissy about me flirting with Angelica when I’m not! I’m just talking! I’m a naturally charming person, what am I supposed to do about it? It’s not my fault that I have people falling at my knees trying to have sex with me.”

“Wow, ego much?” John said, ordering a round of shots, he intended to take both. 

“C’mon, am I wrong?” Alex said with a laugh, “You’d do me if you had the chance.”

“Would not! God, you’re such a douchebag!” John said jokingly, tossing a peanut at Alex’s face, which he masterfully dodged. Bastard.

“Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the-”

“Do not. You’re not even that hot anyway...” John mumbled, taking a shot as they arrived.

“Tell that to everyone I’ve ever dated, bitch,” Alexander smiled.

“If Eliza is stressing you out so much maybe you guys should...I don’t know, take a step back?” John took another shot.

“I would but...I-I think I love her, John.”

“What?!” John coughed on his beer.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I thought she was who I really wanted,” he said, staring down at his drink. John gulped.

“When did you realize that?” John could feel his heart breaking. 

“When she told me she’d end it if I kept ‘flirting’ with Angelica. I realized that I didn’t want that, not ever. She makes me so happy John. She’s...she’s perfect,” Alexander said with a wistful sigh.

“I...I...wow,” his heart shattered. He prayed that Lafayette would come save the conversation, before John broke down.

“Is it really that unbelievable that I, self-proclaimed slut Alexander Hamilton, could be in love?”

“You know I hate when you call yourself that.”

“And you know I hate when you change the subject, Johnny,” Alexander reached out to make John look at him, John flinched away.

“Don’t,” John said.

“What’s wrong with you tonight? You’re acting weird,” Alexander said. Shit John, don’t act weird, he thought to himself.

“I just...don’t you think this is a little, I don’t know, fast? You’ve hardly dated for a month!” John scoffed.

“Do you not want me to be happy? She makes me happy John. Why don’t you understand that?” Alex said, downing the rest of his beer, then ordered a whiskey. Whiskey was his anger drink because it ‘matches me in bitterness John’.

“Someone else could come along who makes you happier, what then? What if you’re married to Eliza and you fall in love with someone else?” John shot back, ordering and taking another shot.

“I’ll deal with that if it happens! I...I wanted to tell you first because I thought you’d be happy for me...” Alexander shrunk into his seat.

“I...I am happy for you. I just think you might be jumping the gun here.”

“Sometimes I really do not understand you, John Laurens,” Alex laughed, bitterness leaking out of his pores. 

“Do what you want Alex. If you fuck up your life with this girl, it isn’t my problem,” John grumbled. He hated arguing, that was more Alex’s thing.

“Someone is feeling awfully defensive tonight,” Alex laughed. Alexander laughed when he was angry which is something John knew far too well after their six years of friendship.

“I just don’t want you to make some stupid mistake just because you think you love some girl!”

“She’s not just some girl, Laurens!” Alex was restraining his anger and John could tell. But John couldn’t stop either.

“You could take your damn time! That’s all I’m saying! You hardly know her! She knows nothing about you, I’m the one who knows what you’ve been through!” John shouted, trying not to raise his voice too loudly, they were in public after all.

“Oh. My. God.”

“What?” John asked, crossing his arms.

“You’re jealous. Aren’t you?” Alexander asked, leaning on his elbows with his chin resting on his hands. 

“What? I...no, I’m not...jealous I-I,” John stammered. Alexander could read him like a damn book, and he knew it.

“You are! That’s why you don’t want me to be with Eliza! Oh man, this is rich,” Alex smirked. John felt himself crumble, a tear finally escaping and falling down his cheek.

“I have to go,” he said, John bolted out of the booth.

“Wait, John!” he could hear Alexander behind him.

John knew he couldn’t drive home in this state, his sensibility be damned, he sat against the side wall of the bar. He pulled his knees up to his chest and ran through the conversation again. He was such an idiot. 

“I saw you leave,” Lafayette sat beside him, “Didn’t go well?”

“I didn’t tell him, he’s just a perceptive asshole,” John mumbled into his knees.

“He’s looking for you.”

“If you see him, tell him I don’t care,” John said, his words dripping malice.

“You know I don’t like liars, John,” Lafayette said sternly.

“He’ll never understand...”

“You can’t prove that if you just avoid him.”

“I can try,” he said, as another tear fell. John was hurting and he knew there was no point trying to hide it from Lafayette.

“Okay. But if you continue to hurt the way you are now, know that I tried to help you. Nothing will come out of you ending your friendship. Nothing but added pain. I can’t do this for you,” Lafayette said, pulling John up with him as he stood and hugged him, “I can’t fix this for you, child.”

“I know. I...I’ll talk to him, okay?” John said as he pulled away from Lafayette to wipe his tears.

“Good. Text me, Little Laurens,” Lafayette said, blowing him a kiss and wandering back into the bar. John sighed and straightened himself up. Pull it together, Laurens.

“I’m an asshole,” Alex said as John saw him come around the corner of the building. John raised his eyebrows. “I’m an asshole. I’m a piece of shit, I’m undeserving of your affections or anyone else’s. I am unreasonable, stubborn, annoying, a loud mouth, a dick, a heartbreaker, too argumentative, irritating, I pick fights, I don’t know how to not be rude. I’m sorry, okay?”

“About what? You don’t have anything to apologize to me for,” John said as he crossed his arms and folded in on himself, refusing to look at Alexander who undoubtedly looked gorgeous in the moonlight.

“I’m sorry for reacting how I did. It’s not funny. It’s not something that I should feel triumphant about because I sure as hell don’t deserve you and losing you as a friend would kill me more than losing Eliza would because you’re right. You’re right, John. You know everything there is to know about me because you are the only person I actually trust. I can’t imagine living in a world where we don’t talk to each other. I can’t lose you,” Alexander said.

“I ruined everything...didn’t I?” John asked, tears welling up once again. John hated being as emotional as he was.

“How would you have ruined everything? You’re my best friend!” Alexander smiled, trying to get John to.

“I ruined everything! We can’t go back to how things were! We can’t go get drinks or have sleepovers when we get too drunk or talk for hours about nothing because I made it awkward because I fell in love with you!” John slapped his hand over his mouth to stop the words that had already escaped as the tears flowed freely. This is it. This is where Alexander looks John in the eye and tells him he never wants to see him again. Alex is going to leave and never come back he’s going to tell everyone that John Laurens cannot be trusted with friendship because he will ruin it with feelings and-

“You what?” Alex whispered.

“Oh my god...I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to say that I’m so sorry I-I can’t, I have to go,” John stammered as he started walking as fast as he could from the scene of his crime. He knew he’d mess this up. He knew he’d ruin everything. He always seems to...

Alexander grabbed John’s elbow to stop him.

“You are not allowed to walk away from me right now, John Laurens,” Alex said, spinning John around to face him, holding onto his shoulders.

“Alex please don’t do this...”

“Tell me what you just said,” John tried to turn away, he didn’t want to talk to him. He couldn’t, “John.”

“I’m sorry, Alexander...” John whispered, his sadness engulfing him.

“Never tell me you’re sorry about this ever again,” Alex said. Alexander’s hands glided down John’s arms and rested on his hips. This is a joke, John thought, he’s going to push me away and tell everyone about how stupid John Laurens is and never talk to him again.

“Look at me...John, please look at me,” Alex pleaded. John looked into his eyes. The eyes that he saw in the bar when he and Lafayette were looking for trouble six years ago. The eyes that bore into his soul and found every truth John had inside him. The eyes that were closing as Alex’s lips got closer to John’s. Alex kissed John and John knew he must be dreaming. Because there is no way in hell that Alexander Ladies-Man Hamilton is kissing him right now. 

“Wh-what...I don’t...I thought...I don’t understand,” John said as he pulled away from Alexander, keeping his hands on his shoulders where they had landed during the kiss. 

“What don’t you understand, John?” Alexander asked, pulling John closer to him and resting his head on John’s shoulder.

“I thought you loved Eliza,” John whispered, confusion coating his features.

“I do,” Alex said, kissing John’s neck. John pulled away from him.

“Then why-”

“But I still love you, John Laurens. I always have,” he said, pulling John to him and kissing him again and all thought was swept aside for that moment.

“How are we going to make this work?” John muttered, hopelessness returning. Alex wouldn’t dare leave Eliza, and John didn’t want him to either. They were happy, and John wouldn’t want to ruin that for them.

“I love you. Do you love me?” Alexander asked.

“I...Of course I love you...”

“Then, we will work this out. Now, would you like to come to my home with me so we can talk about this?” Alex asked, kissing Laurens quickly.

“I’d love to,” John said, smiling for the first time that night.

“Great because there are some things I have yet to show you John Laurens,” he said, smirking at John and winking before he hailed a cab. John would be more than happy to see those things.


End file.
